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     Devon's memory lives on through his family,
        Sean, Jill, Malachi, Avalon and Xavier 
Each person's grief is unique, even that of family members facing the same loss. They will continue this journey while making this devastating loss part of their own personal history, a part of their life's story, a part of their very being. Please show them love, understanding, support and respect. 

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"You were born a child of light's wonderful secret--
you return to the beauty you have always been."  -Aberjhani 

No, we don't know how to go on after our son died. . . but we are learning every day. Because we have to.  We are approaching life in a different light, now.  From a whole new perspective.  Tragedy shows you the true colors of people.
It shows you who has your back,   who truly loves you, and who never really did.  It shows you what's really important
and what never really mattered. 

We got true friends back after stupid petty disagreements and lost petty friends  over the misrepresentation of reality or the misunderstanding of who we truly are.

As a grieving family, we are learning who is there to wipe our tears and who you need to defend yourself against. We found a deeper trust and understanding of each other and have been appreciating each other much more actively.

We are also changing the focus of life to the present
and using a mindfulness approach to appreciate each breath instead of waiting.  Making every moment count. 

My grandmother died with plastic covering her couch. She never felt the velvet softness  and plushy cushions. I am taking the  plastic off of our lives and rolling in the plush.

​You never know what tomorrow will bring. Accidents, tragedies, and disasters are all a constant in life.  Life is so very fragile and sometimes the best intentions, best positive thoughts, best medicine,  best prayers,  best pleading,
best chanting, best physicians minds and hands
cannot save a life. 

Time cannot be controlled and we cannot go back to save him, no matter how many times we replay that day, that tragic scene, that horror in our minds.  It happened.
Time moves forward.

Even though quantum physics tells us that the past is just like the future – they both exist in “superposition,” and that neither have occurred, that doesn't let us hold Devon
or talk to him about his beep beep truck.

People don't like to talk about children dying, but it happens. As an epidemiologist you would think I knew that drowning kills more children 1-4 years of age than anything else except birth defects. Not that it would have changed that day. I was there with my boy. We all never left the yard... Did you know that the curiosity of a toddler makes them that much more of a risk, and that most drownings occur in under 5 minutes.
Even when supervised!?

some special family photos

The death of your child is something that you have to live with forever. It's the death of them starting school and dating, and learning to drive. It's the death of little league and birthday parties and horseback riding lessons. It's the loss of everything that could have and should have been with your child's life and future, even beyond your own. But there is absolutely  nothing you can do about it.

So I will go on with life, but I will accept how different it is now because of Devon.

T hat difference is his gift. 
My son's gifts to us will always be present just as his energy will always be in existence.

Ava will always be that amazing big sister and caretaker, and little mama that he helped her be.
She will use this experience and these gifts from Devon when she starts to babysit and when
she has children of her own.
 Malachi will always an amazing big brother, who now has experience teaching a toddler to ride a quad and play video games. He even learned how to dress a baby, all which will help him as a young man, being a great mentor and eventually a daddy.
 Xavier's knowledge exploded enormously from Devon, who taught him how to hold a baby, what kind of games to play, and how to interact. These gifts will reflect in his interaction with other little ones for the rest of his life. 

Devon changed us. He was literally the best thing that ever happened to us. He was an incredible, magical, intelligent, healthy, happy, funny,

kind, and absolutely gorgeous child.
His existence was almost a fantasy.

"Through action, a Man becomes a Hero; Through death, a Hero becomes a Legend."

Devon's legend will live on long after him,
inspiring the love, kindness and joy he spread. 

With peace, knowledge, serenity, harmony and the force, Honorable jedi, you have passed into Valhalla.  You were an old soul and you know how to navigate. We will never lose you.